There is an invisible force that holds friends, families and couples together we all know as love.
When I was in my high school years I was introduced to the term “unconditional love” mostly in the books I was reading. Since then I got this idea in my head that unconditional love is supposed to be given no matter how other perceive it, or if they see it at all. According to me, or the me I was, I supposed to spread love all over around and not ask for anything in return. The result was that all the lovers I was with left me, all my friends were thinking that I am boring, and some were even saying that I am talking like a priest. This had a big negative effect on me if I look back from today’s perspective. I was trying to follow the well known 12 laws of the karma, let myself be all a medium of love and let life flow effortlessly. I was playing a role of a Messiah.
My life took a great course regarding my studies and the first job experience, but somehow love life, friends, even family, i.e. the source where a human being charges with love, were falling apart, and I was feeling so unloved and pushed away, I lost trust in my parents, my friends and people in general.
After the last crash I had last year, and stepping into my 25th year of life, considering that it is the time I take responsibilities not only for my finances, but also for how I trade my feelings and my love with other people including my family. I learned in the hard way that unconditional love isn’t about serving your body, soul, time and mind as food to the people around you, but that it is up to you to keep yourself save, practice to recharge yourself from time to time, do things for your own pleasure, ask to be given, search for others to prove you they do care for you, and not let them take you as granted. Karma is rather connected to the belief system one has as a fixation in the head, which is why we often see very good people suffering, and evil one celebrate their victory.
How this knowing is applicable now?
I now know that the most significant relationship one should have is with himself. We come back to people more capable to love them if we are recharged. There are people that were practically eating from the “me” I unconditionally served, so when I started standing for myself they identified my as evil. I was fine to be perceived as such since I knew it is them that are selfish since they are no more served from my soul, mind and body. Within the time they have figured it out I learned how the world of the adults works. It is not something they are really happy for, so that is how I identify and classify the people that in some way are still in my life.
Now I define unconditional love as something that when you give free willingly, you know why and it is your firm decision, but no giving is love if the giver is sacrifice and scapegoat. I love myself first. How else would someone love me, if I don’t love myself?!
I would be pleased to hear your comments and your experiences about it.